The Love Test

We paid a visit to my mother-in-law (MIL) at the nursing home today. She was just released from the hospital after being admitted for having seizures and a urinary tract infection.  Since her major medical issues that began last September, she has not been able to return home and has been in some sort of health care facility. What made her release from the hospital different this time, however, was the fact that the Dr. said she was deteriorating quickly and he felt like she was ready for hospice care.

I am saddened that my MIL was never able to fully recover from that September incident. That day, she passed out while talking to a friend at her home.  A few hours later, she was taken by Life-Flight to the medical center, where a top surgeon repaired a torn aortic valve. Although the surgery went well, we would soon discover that she had multiple strokes during the surgery. She stayed in ICU for an extended period of time and from there she was taken to a rehab facility, then skilled nursing and finally a nursing home.  She has had moments where we were hopeful she would be able to return to pre-surgery life; however, the symptoms in her body seemed to take a toll on her will to recover, as she would often refuse therapy and medications.

Quick background info--my relationship with my MIL has not always been amicable. Out of respect for my MIL, I’ll spare many of the personal details, but suffice it to say that we did not agree on many fronts, from how to raise children to how to peel potatoes to how to do the laundry. Now, while these differences are perfectly normal, what made them such hindrances to our relationship was the fact that my MIL lived in our home for many years, so we had to face them daily.  Honestly, I felt as though I had been handed the biggest love test I would ever face, yet, because of the continual relationship strain and my inability to stay focused on God’s word concerning love, I continued to fail, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.  

Well, since my MIL’s tragic day, the Lord has begun to do a work in my heart. I know that’s an indictment against me, that something tragic had to happen before my heart would begin to change. Nevertheless, during a time when she was coherent and able to remember who I was, I made sure that I told her that I loved her. I asked her for forgiveness and she asked me for the same.  Although there would not be the opportunity to make up for what was damaged due to the battle of our differences, there would be the opportunity to finally see what I should have seen all along- that regardless of how many times I felt we were on opposing sides, the strife that existed between us was nothing more than a plan from Satan to “divide and conquer” my family.  

It is amazing how when we’re going through a trial, we can only see things at surface level.  If we could get a bird’s eye view of situations, we’d see that people are not our enemies and our perspective would change.  Regarding enemies, the Bible puts it this way:

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 NLT

Seeing my MIL’s fragile body and broken spirit has changed my perspective, as I now see her through the eyes of a loving God. I no longer see an enemy of my childish preferences, but I now see a woman who is precious in the sight of the Lord, the apple of God’s eye. Although the spark in her eye and the strength in her voice have gone, the love in her heart for Jesus is as strong as it ever was.  Just the mention of His name lights up her countenance.  She’s forgotten many things, but she has not forgotten her Savior, Redeemer and Friend. In fact, in moments of clarity over the past few months, she has assured us that she is ready and even longs to be taken to her heavenly home to be forever with her King Jesus.

So at her bedside today, I believe the Lord gave me another opportunity to pass the love test. With overwhelming compassion in my heart and knowing her desire to escape from this temporary world, I took her hand and began to pray.  I prayed that God would overshadow her with His compassion and mercy; that He would give her the desires of her heart. I thanked God for preparing a glorious place for her in eternity. I prayed that she would be at peace as she begins the journey to leave this world behind. I prayed that her present life would be overtaken by eternity, just as the Apostle Paul so fittingly puts it in 2 Corinthians 5 (NLT):

1. For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. 2. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. 3. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. 4. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. 5. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit. 6. So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 7. For we live by believing and not by seeing. 8. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 

The sweet presence of the Lord filled the room during those few minutes of our prayer.  While her eternal destiny is in the hands of God, we believe He hears the groanings and longings of her heart and He is faithful to perform His word on her behalf.  

I’m not sure if I passed the love test this time. However, I do know that the “divide” the enemy tried to create was repaired by God’s forgiveness and the “conquer” the enemy tried to claim over my family was overwhelmed by God’s love.  The Bible says in James 5:16 (KJV) to “…pray for one another that you may be healed…” I believe that by me praying for her, the Lord was able to bring healing to me, to my heart.

As we wait for God to do His glorious work in my MIL’s life, I keep hearing this song in my head.

From “Running” by CFNI:

I hear the voice

It’s the voice of the One I love

He’s calling my name

I hear the voice

The voice of the One I love,

He’s calling my name

He’s saying…

Come up higher

I hear the angels sing

Come up higher, my beloved

Come up higher and leave this world behind

I find you to be beautiful

I am running, running after You

You’ve become my soul’s delight

I am running, running after You

Here with You I find my life.

Blessings,

FLF

What Do You Desire?

I woke up intermittently throughout the night with this scripture rolling around in my heart:

"What things soever you desire, when you pray, believe you receive them, and you shall have them."
Mark 11:23

I am desiring something really, really big from God. What about you? Is there something you desire from God?

1 John 5:14-15 says that when we ask God for something, we must ask according to His will (His Word). When we do that, we have confidence that He hears us, and because we know He hears us (because we asked according to His Word), then we HAVE the petitions we desire of Him.

Go ahead and take God at His word. If He said it, He will do it. If He spoke it, He will bring it to pass.

Blessings,
FLF

Crime of Passion

Check this out from Isaiah 59:15-19 KJV

⁵Yea, truth faileth; and he that departeth from evil maketh himself a prey: and the LORD saw it, and it displeased him that there was no judgment.   ¹⁶And he saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor: therefore his arm brought salvation unto him; and his righteousness, it sustained him.  ¹⁷For he put on righteousness as a breastplate, and an helmet of salvation upon his head; and he put on the garments of vengeance for clothing, and was clad with zeal as a cloak.    ¹⁸According to their deeds, accordingly he will repay, fury to his adversaries, recompence to his enemies; to the islands he will repay recompence. ¹⁹So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.

I absolutely love this portion of scripture. It is a picture of Jesus getting ready to come down to earth and to save mankind. He is preparing himself mentally. He is fueled by His love for man and the anger of the injustices Satan has metered out to the human race.

God looked out and saw that there was no man able to save us. Because there had to be a savior among men, God had to become a man. Jesus had to strip himself of his Godliness and take up the call.

So let’s talk about some key words in these scriptures.

In verse 17, Jesus puts on garments of vengeance.

Vengeance means revenge. In Strong’s, it says “to act with the desire of vengeance”.

“…clad with zeal as a cloak.”

• Clad means to wrap, to envelope oneself.
• Zeal means jealousy (as of lovers), envy, anger, indignation, ardent love
• Cloak is a robe, the upper garment, often worn by high priests. Strong’s indicates that this word could mean “of acting covertly.” Jesus was God covertly disguised as man.

Jesus dressed himself with a wardrobe of revenge. He covered himself in zeal. He enveloped himself with anger. He was totally covered with rage against the enemy and the condemning acts against mankind.

You know, Satan was once a resident in Heaven, and being an angel, he probably had never seen God’s jealous side.  Wow, was he in for a surprise when he woke up a jealous God!

The prophet Isaiah goes on to say that God will repay the enemy "according to their deeds, fury to his adversaries, recompense to his enemies.” He's not talking about man's sin against God. He's talking about Satan's judgment and hold over the human race. "According to your deeds, Devil, accordingly I will repay you."

The word fury means anger; poison (as that which burns the bowels).

To say that Jesus was angry at what Satan had done to man by deceiving him into a lifetime of sin and slavery is a gross understatement. Jesus was so mad and had such fury that his blood was boiling.

 

I think we can safely say that Jesus’ crucifixion was a criminal act, because he was an innocent man being executed for something he didn't do, but I believe what happened at Calvary was a crime of passion.

By crime of passion, I'm not saying that Jesus committed a crime. I'm saying that God allowed the crime of him being crucified to take place because of his passionate desire to win back the hearts and souls of man. There was no other way.

But in doing that, he was also going to exact punishment on the demonic forces that held us in bondage.  Recompense according to their recompense. He recompensed the Devil according to his recompense on us.

People think Jesus is a meek, mild-mannered, quiet lamb. And he is that when it comes to his children. But, he is also the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. He is a BEAST when it comes to exacting punishment on your enemy, the devil, and what he has done to keep you from God's blessing and God's best.

If you don't think that this Jesus, the one you serve, is big enough, strong enough, powerful enough, or even angry enough to take up your cause, then please "selah" this portion of scripture in Isaiah again.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can successfully be against us? (Romans 8:31) 

Blessings, 

FLF

Here is how Isaiah 59 reads in The Message Bible:

⁹God looked and saw evil looming on the horizon—

   so much evil and no sign of Justice. He couldn't believe what he saw:

   not a soul around to correct this awful situation. So he did it himself, took on the work of Salvation,

   fueled by his own Righteousness. He dressed in Righteousness, put it on like a suit of armor,

   with Salvation on his head like a helmet, Put on Judgment like an overcoat,

   and threw a cloak of Passion across his shoulders. He'll make everyone pay for what they've done:

   fury for his foes, just deserts for his enemies.

Silence of the Lamb

Today is Good Friday...the day we remember Jesus' crucifixion. This had me thinking a lot about the suffering Jesus went through. He is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.

I was talking to my daughter about the physical trauma he went through the night before and the day of his crucifixion. First things first, he was operating on zero sleep. Sadly, his disciples were pretty well-rested after napping in the Garden of Gethsemane, but not so the Master.

Then there was the crown of thorns that they drove into his head. To me, that was his payment to set me free from any mental torment, anxiety or attack in my soul. But he didn't respond to the pain..He remained silent.

Then there were the beatings. In Luke 22, it says the soldiers blindfolded him, struck him on the face and then mockingly asked him to prophetically tell them who was beating him. But he didn't respond to the beatings..He again remained silent.

And then there was the scourging. The Romans soldiers beat Jesus with a cat 'o nine tails, a whip with strips of leather embedded with nails, glass and bone. This instrument of torture literally ripped Jesus' back open. The Bible says he was beaten so badly, he was unrecognizable. This is the payment for my sicknesses. By His stripes, we are healed.

They mocked him; they stripped him of his clothes, they robbed him of his dignity. But he didn't respond to the torture... Still, he remained silent.

All that and Jesus hadn't even made it to Calvary yet.

There were the nails that were driven into his hands and his feet. Crucifixion in that day was preserved for the most wicked of criminals, yet here was the most innocent, guiltless, sinless man that ever walked the face of the earth being accused and treated like a heinous criminal. But he didn't respond to the shame...He still remained silent.

The pain yearned for him to cry out, to say something, to scream, to acknowledge its existence. The accusations cried out for him to justify himself and come to his own defense...Yet, the Lamb of God came to the slaughter...in silence.  

The mockings continued. They jeered him, taunted him, saying, "If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross. Save yourself." But he answered not a word. He still remained silent.

His disciples ran from him, the Jews lied about him and rejected him, and it took a thief hanging beside him to recognize his innocence and kingship. It took a Roman soldier to realize that "surely, this must be the Son of God."

Beaten beyond recognition, full of agonizing pain, his spirit separated from his heavenly Father and in a seemingly weakened state, his strong spirit prevailed and with one of his last breaths, filled with supernatural love and forgiveness, the Lamb spoke, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

You see, Jesus didn't acknowledge the beatings, the shame, the pain, the torment.

But we must.

We must acknowledge the sacrifice Jesus made. We must acknowledge that he is the Lamb of God who takes away our sin, our shame and our pain, because it was our sin, our shame and our pain that nailed him to the cross. And it was his love and his forgiveness that kept him on the cross.

You know, we could never repay Jesus back for Calvary, but he does not ask us to do so, either. 

What he longs for is for us to accept his willing sacrifice and for us to acknowledge him and say, "Jesus, that should have been me on that cross. I am the sinner. But I thank you for paying the price for my sin. Thank you for being my Savior, my Redeemer, my Healer. Thank you for rescuing me from Hell's grip. You are the Lamb of God who takes away my sin."

Everyone needs to know that Jesus died for all. 

Don't keep silent about the Lamb.

Blessings, 
FLF

From Isaiah 53:4-7

"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

   But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

   All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

   He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth."